Brie's wish at therapy today

Is this bragging?

I got this email from my editor today. It made me feel really good!

Hi Carol!


This was a wonderful story. The anecdote you chose to begin with was absolutely perfect, perhaps one of the best I've seen on a teacher profile. I think it's pretty darn powerful. The narrative flows really well, Carol, with some memorable details like the bank scene that make the story come alive. Excellent work. If you wouldn't mind giving the story a quick read to make sure all the facts are straight one last time, I'd appreciate it. Thanks a bunch!

Jeremiah

Silly children

There was more snow to shovel this week. It was really crunchy icy snow. Not fun to play in.

Sean didn't want to go to school yesterday he wanted to stay home and play with Ethan. I had to take Carter to a doctor appointment downtown and meet Jenny for an hour so I kept him home. This is what he and Ethan did, hung Woody and anything else they could tie up over the stairs.

Today Sean went to see Ethan after school and Ethan walked over wearing gloves on his feet. Liam was following him wearing nothing at all. I picked him up and was carrying him back in his house when his mom came running. I tell you those two boys are something else.

 Ryan was a no show for his visit with the girls today. Sean and Jenny just hung out at the downtown library for an hour yesterday. Sean is really funny with her. It's like he can't figure out who this lady is and why he is expected to spend time with her. He's a good sport about it though.

Alex and Loreal are getting married

Alex called today to tell us he and Loreal were coming over to tell us something. They are getting married on March 19. That's only two months away:)

Carpe Diem

My niece posted a funny story on facebook. The writer was annoyed because every time she takes her three naughty children to the grocery store an older woman will stop and tell her how cute her kids are and to enjoy every minute because they grow up fast. The writer was bothered because it is impossible to enjoy every moment and feels like stranger should say something to the effect "good job, carry on warrior only six hours until bedtime". I had mixed feelings about this article because when my kids were little I definitely did not enjoy every minute, I was way to stressed. But now as the "older" woman I look at young moms and pregnant moms and have those exact thoughts. Enjoy it because it passes so quickly.

At 4 a.m. today Sean started barfing. It was his six o'clock happy meal from McDonald's but it looked more like two or three happy meals. I took all the sheets and stuff off, got him cleaned up and was taking the laundry downstairs and I actually thought, Carpe Diem. That made me laugh. What I was seizing was how grateful I was to have him barfing at home where I could take all the gross laundry downstairs and put it straight into the wash and change his clothes. We've had barf experiences in hotels and ER's where we didn't have that luxury so I couldn't help but think it could be a lot worse. Now that isn't exactly treasuring every moment but it's looking at the bright side. Sean was wide awake after being sick and couldn't sleep without his blue blanket because all the other blankets are "stupid". At that point I was grateful for Sprout TV being on at 4 a.m.

About 7 David started slamming doors and stomping up stairs because he was mad that Alika parked behind him. Sean was finally asleep and I wanted to get up and smack David but thought, he is 17 and will move out soon so I should try to enjoy this time. When I went downstairs and found the soda he had spilled all over my newly mopped floor and not even attempted to clean up I reminded myself how grateful I am for my Shark steam mop. Carpe Diem!

Mom is doing pretty good after her surgery. She is coming upstairs for her meals. Still not walking around just going from stair lift to wheelchair to dinner table then back to stair lift to walker to computer or bed. She had her follow up appointment with the surgeon yesterday. Don and I took her up the wheel chair ramp. It's like a mini hospital here with all the equipment and Sean's oxygen concentrator. Looking at Grandma's wheelchair and wrap around walker in the dining room made me think about Sean's swing and portable crib that used to sit in the same place. All the equipment for periods of our lives. When I get frustrated with mom I remind myself that she is getting frailer and frailer and will not be around forever so I need to enjoy the times that I can. She's pretty funny, she is getting really confused and talks incessantly about politics and people I don't know. Sometimes it's pretty darn funny. She told Brad the extreme Republican that research shows people who watch Fox news are stupid. That was pretty funny. The lortab made her really dingy. She isn't taking it now.

Not a great picture. I told her to pretend she felt good.

While we were in Costa Rica and I was hiking up the mountain I was not enjoying myself and thought about quitting and going back down. About that time Nattie found a red dart frog and we were looking at it. I looked around and the rain forest and was just overwhelmed with how beautiful it is. I remembered a conversation with Don's little sister Darci  when she was sick about how she wanted to go to a rain forest in Washington State. She never got to. I thought how much she would love to be doing what I was doing but she can't because she is not alive and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for being alive and having the opportunity to be doing such wonderful things so I dragged by butt up the mountain. There were several times in Costa Rica that I was just amazed to be doing the things I and seeing things and it was so much fun to share that time with Don, Sean, AJ, Steph and her family.

Something I really have a hard time in finding any way to enjoy is Jenny and Ryan. I just have a difficult time with them and want them to just go away from our lives and leave us alone with Sean and leave the girls alone in their new family but they don't and maybe they won't. My mother in law is always saying nothing last forever. Dealing with them is the price we pay for the joy of having Sean in our lives and I wouldn't want to not have Sean in our lives. I third party supervised a visit for Jenny on Wed. The day before Ryan texted me and said he was seeing the girls at DCFS on Wed and could I bring Sean so he could see him. That just infuriated me. I do something nice for Jenny and she tells Ryan and then Sean has to see him. Ugh. I could barely even look at Ryan he just irritates me that much. His hands were shaking like he's on meth and he is just such a lazy useless human being. We were riding down in the elevator with the kids and Clarice and a lady said "what beautiful children" Ryan said "thank you." I just wanted to slap him. Nothing you did made these children beautiful Ryan. Yes, you slept with their mother and gave them your DNA but you never took care of them or supported them or taught them. You just neglected, abused and used them. I just have such contempt for him. I get irritated with Jenny but can usually enjoy being around her even though I know she's lying to me but Ryan I just can't tolerate. I am not even sure why. Ryan was the one that signed over custody of Sean to us. If left to Jenny I don't know that would have happened. I need to find some way to feel some compassion for him. He is such a train wreck and a loser but he doesn't interfere with Sean's life. This was the first time I'd seen him in nine months so why was it so hard for me? I don't know.   Carpe Diem some how. Ryan really doesn't ask for much from us. Jenny is really the one who has used the kids the most she is the one who is always calling, texting and wanting me to do things for her.
To summarize my rambling. While you can't enjoy every minute I am really trying to make the best of situations and look at the bright side. There are enough really rotten things in life that you can't change or control or find a way to enjoy that I really shouldn't sweat the small stuff.

Yesterday while Don was trying to find the remote for the Wii he found Woody's long last hat. That was an exciting moment for Sean:)



Don sent me this picture on my phone at work this week. Sean and Ethan having some good, clean fun. Sean's got a brown back and white bum from Costa Rica. I guess Ethan's is from running around outside in the winter with no shirt on.

Vacation recovery and snow

We really needed a vacation to recover from our vacation. Today I was sitting at a stoplight and I thought I need a vacation and then I remembered we just got back from one. Oh well.... We got home and the next day I had a class start. Don had a day off but he was sick. I finished a class on Friday and we had another start on Saturday. We have been running since we got home.

I took mom to the doctor on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of last week. AJ and I got pretty good at hauling her up and down the back steps in her wheelchair. Mom even got good and not trying to hang on to the side rails. I kept yelling at her to let go and she would say "I'm just trying to steady myself." I told her there was no way she was steadying anything, if she went down we all went down! I'm glad she didn't get her hand broken grabbing at things because once we were going there was no way of stopping.

She had surgery yesterday to have her gall bladder removed. I had ordered a portable wheelchair ramp with two day delivery in hopes it would get here before she got home from the hospital. I figured bump, bump, bump after surgery would feel really bad. I had Brad and Lynn come over to help me get her down the stairs with as little bumping as possible. Fortunately the ramp made it in time so we set it up and Brad rolled her down the stairs. Much easier. I forgot to take a picture. After she got in bed I remembered but she wasn't willing to get in her wheelchair and reenact the getting home from the hospital scene. Spoil sport:) She did amazingly well. We were home within six hours and she really felt much better than I expected. She ate dinner and put an ice pack on but really doesn't feel any worse than she did before the surgery. Her biggest complaint has been not sleeping. I think the lortab she was taking was starting to make her agitated. She's taking percocet at night right now. When we go back to Dr Horsely we will talk about some sleeping pills. I'm not so concerned about doctor appointments now that we have the ramp to the outside. Now even if her back hurts she should hopefully be able to enjoy her food again. I also ordered a new wrap around walker so she can cook without worrying about falling over.

We had the first decent snow fall of the year last week. Sean was pretty excited when he woke up.

Get those kids shoveling while their young. When Sean knocked on Ethan's door for the first time after our trip Ethan opened his door and yelled "YIPPEE!" I think he missed Sean.

Sean was sick again this week. Just for a night he needed oxygen. We bought an oxygen concentrator this week. I had to return the rental or get another month charge. It just gives us piece of mind to have one. Unless he's really sick we don't have to go to the hospital. Our regular doctor is really good about working to keep him home. We are going to see a pulmonologist if this keeps up. I don't think he's going to tell us anything we don't know but we will go see one anyway.

Sean keeps talking about Costa Rica. Today he asked if it was on earth. Smart kid! He also told me he had to learn more Spanish so he could talk better when we go back. Tonight at dinner Sean and Ethan were eating and as soon as they were done Ethan said "OK let's go to my house and see what my mom cooked!" A couple of days ago they were arguing over prayers. Ethan told Sean he didn't pray right and Sean told Ethan he didn't pray right. I let them both say the dinner prayer but they were still going at it. I told Ethan there were lots of way to pray and he told me "no there are not!" Boy, is he a future missionary or what. I told Sean he could pray however he wanted and he could pray in Spanish if he wanted. Ethan thought that was pretty funny.

David has been working full time hours but is cutting back this week. I don't know why they had him scheduled so much when he is still in school. He's doing OK in school. Alika and AJ started back to classes. Alika is taking Spanish and is overwhelmed by the assignments. She only has one other course and its rock climbing so she can put all her focus on Spanish.

Jenny had a DCFS hearing last week. The state filed to terminate parental rights and the trial is still scheduled for March. Jenny was charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia so now she has that to deal with. She came over on Sunday to see Sean. I took her to lunch and she told me "Ryan has gone off the deep end." I don't have a clue what that means, I thought they were both already in deep water. I haven't seen or talked to the girls since we've been home. Talked to Lanette who said they were well.



Happy New Year (Feliz Ano Neuvo)

We brought in the New Year at Steph's mom's house. Those Costa Rican's are serious about their pinatas. Now I know why Steph called our Jungle Jim pinata socialist. (All the candy was equally counted and pre bagged so each child got the same thing.) Steph and her cousins beat poor Mario to bits and then  hit the floor and wrestled for candy, it was everyone for themself. Silly adults, they made me laugh.

Steph's Grandma Ana rocking in the New Year.

Dancing with my Seaner. They had a chocolate fountain and Sean was double dipping his marshmallows. He stopped and asked "can I just have a spoon?" My kind of kid.

Steph and Sean rocking.

Steph and her cousins line dancing.

We went to bed at 1 didn't sleep got up at 3 and Steph's uncle drove us the 90 minutes to the airport. AJ and Steph went on a different flight but we left and arrived in SLC within fifteen minutes of each other. Don and I had two stops and AJ and Steph only had one. We had one hour and fifteen minutes to make it through customs and immigration. I didn't think we would make it we had to run to catch our flight. Somehow we made it and so did our luggage I was amazed! It was a great trip.