Sunday, December 13, 2009

I'm 49 and what's new?

I'm 49 (my neice just informed me I am only 48 because her dad my brother is 49, BONUS) today, one two years away from 50, so what's new?

I always knew I was going to get married, go to college and have babies but never really thought about what I would do “after that.” Well, it’s “after that” and I’m married, finishing another dang blasted Master’s and raising babies. My fellow 50ish friends have all called me crazy, insane, nuts, a lunatic and various other adjectives. All this got me to thinking about why I really don’t mind raising another baby at my “advanced” maternal age. (Though I do sit in front of the hockey rink waiting for David watching the 60ish crowds go in to play racquet ball and swim and realize that when I am 60ish I will still be sitting in my car waiting for a kid to come out of the recreation center.


Why it is easier to raise a baby/toddler when your 40 or 50 then when your 20. Not necessarily in order:

1. Teenage and adult children living in the house who help take care of the toddler.

2. I am not poor

3. I am not living in a 12x60 mobile home

4. The toddler sleeps in a queen size bed, which means when I sleep with toddler I am comfortable.

5. Sippy cups that don’t spill

6. Drop in day care

7. Cool fold down toilet seats for toddlers

8. I don’t sweat the “baby stuff.” Five grown and almost grown kids have given me perspective. I’ve sat in a room and had half a dozen “professionals” tell me my child was mentally retarded and would always need “special help.” I’ve spent countless nights sleeping in hospital rooms with a seriously ill child. I’ve listened to half a dozen gastroenterologist give me their diagnosis of why my son is sick with pancreatitis. (They finally identified a guilty gene). I’ve gone to the police station at 2:00 a.m. on prom night to pick up my handcuffed daughter. I’ve seen a teenager through rehab. I’ve experienced family “intervention” night. I’ve had kids with hair dyed every color of the rainbow. I’ve been to awards ceremonies, basketball games, hockey games, debate tournaments and experienced the juvenile court system. I’d say as a parent I’m pretty well rounded. I know that the normal toddler things aren’t worth stressing over. I know that a baby who cries for hours will eventually quit crying. It doesn’t matter if a toddler insists on wearing the same shirt for two days in a row. (Even if it’s his sisters). Toddlers eventually get potty trained so why push it. Short of life or death, serious illness or injury or the court system it isn’t worth stressing about. (I do have to stress that someday Sean’s parents may try to regain custody! Hence, the court system).

9. I have a really supportive husband.

10. Did I mention not being poor!

25 comments:

Sharon said...

Hi Carol,
I love your essay-type message. It should be widely shared because it is very profound.

How is your mother? Is there a way to keep her from being lonely if she is confined downstairs? She is a special lady who raised some special kids ! !

Sharon

Sharon said...

Oh yeah....HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! ! ! !

Stephanie-jean Life:SemiCrunchy said...

LOL not being poor would be the highlight of it all ;)

Stephanie-jean Life:SemiCrunchy said...

PS - you are not 49... you are 48... you were born in 1961... it is 2009... just thought you should know!

gina said...

Wow- that's an amazing story!! Although it does make me a little nervous as I'm really just wearming up with the teen scene- my oldest is 15 , my youngest is 5. I'm not looking forward but I did survive toddlerhood and I'm no longer poor- so that's good. :)

Anonymous said...

I think that cute toddler is one lucky boy to have you, no matter your age! And 48 is still young--your no Sarah from the Bible! :) Happy late birthday!

Fly Girl said...

What an inspiring post. Just goes to show that age is just a number. And I thought I was the only one who lost count of her age!

Rachel said...

Awesome post - good for us new mothers to view things from a more long-distance view (scary though parts of it are!!)

Thanks for the inspiration and unique viewpoint!!

shortmama said...

You really have been through it all! Happy belated birthday!

Standinginhislight said...

Bless you woman! You are an inspiration!! Yes, I get those same descriptive adjectives towards me when we decided to have baby #6 after 40... but we are lovin' life!
~Sheri

Claudya Martinez said...

I think not being poor definitely deserves to be listed more than once.

I love that you do not know how old you are.

Alissa Grosso said...

Happy Birthday! I think the least stressed mothers always have a good support system, and looks like yours is top notch!

AiringMyLaundry said...

Great list! So true, too.

I just don't think I'd have the energy for it. I'm 27 and my two kids wear me out like no tomorrow some days.

Happy Birthday!

LadyFi said...

I'm 50 with two young kids of 6 and 8... so I'll be right there with you as a grey-haired youthful old age pensioner with teens!

Happy birthday.

Anonymous said...

love that list--especially #10. thanks for stopping by my spot

Traci said...

I love your perspective. At 38, I am in school again and my friends tease, as well. I have two masters and I've now gone back for a 2nd bachelor's degree.

You have a terrific looking family and a very insightful way of looking at things. I will be back.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind words. -)

Jaclyn said...

That was great. I'm going to take your advice and not sweat the potty training. Cause like you said, they all get potty trained. I hope you had a wonderful birthday. You are one of the most incredible people I know and I am blessed to be a part of your family. Love you.

Kekibird said...

Wow...love this. It really is a testament to the strength of a mother. Love all the pictures of your beautiful family.

Thanks for stopping by.

Rachel Cotterill said...

Great perspective! People (not just parents) get stressed about a load of unnecessary stuff... I'm by no means exempt, but I do my best to at least recognise when I'm overreacting!

Helene said...

Wow, you sure have experienced a lot as a parent!! My kids are still little (two 5-yr olds and two 2-yr olds) and sometimes I feel like the days are just dragging by. But after reading your post, especially the end, makes me realize that these are the days to cherish!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog...hope you'll be back again soon!

Libby said...

Wow...very inspirational. I mean...damn.

Happy Birthday by the way!!!

SurferWife said...

Great message!! And your family is beautiful!!

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest.

Oh, and Happy Birthday. Whatever age you may be! haha!

The Grasshoppa:Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

Refreshing! I am 38 and mom to a 16 year old, 4 year old triplets, and a 19 month old.

I would change one simple thing and that is that my little baby dumplin would not SCREAM her head off in the car anymore so that we could actually go places as a family without me wanting to leap from a speeding SUV!

Other than that...I totally agree with the go-with-the-flow ideals!

Great to find your blog.

scrappysue said...

that's a pretty good attitude to have, and you gained a whole year too!

Donna said...

Happy birthday, and thanks for stopping by my blog. I have four kids, nine and under, so the handcuff scene you describe is still in my future. Oh, and the whole not poor thing? I wouldn't be poor if I weren't feeding four kids!! I'm going to try to remember your advice today when my baby throws herself on the floor today for a good old-fashioned tantrum.

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