Fun at the rec center

Don got finished with the electronic stuff at the classroom so we had time to play today. We went to the rec center for some indoor swimming. There is a really big waterslide and Sean loves it. He screams all the way down. It is so fast and curvy it makes me dizzy.

We had some outdoor fun too.

Aye matie, it's a pirate ship!

It was a little breezy out today.

That's my honey. He has been swimming four mornings a week for a couple of months now AND tomorrow is Don's one year anniversary of being smoke free. YIPEE for that!

Sean is so big. I think he's part monkey. He and Ethan like to climb so it is no surprise that he scales the wall at the rec center.

New Classroom

We've moved the business to Midvale. Tomorrow is our first class in the new building. We have three separate classrooms in one building, two offices, testing room and a break room. We are excited. We didn't finish our lease at the old classroom. The building was foreclosed on so it was a good time to leave. Our last Monday at the classroom they found a body next to our dumpster. It was a drug addicted woman who would hang around the building panhandling. Sad. Hopefully, our new building is a nicer shopping center. It does have a Hooters in the parking lot which is not real classy but everyone knows where the building is when you say Hooters:)

Don hooking up the sound system and projector, once AGAIN!

Sean, Steph and AJ hanging out.

We are right next to Frenze Bridal. We have our own parking lot, yipee.

Quality Time

Sean and Ethan play "dress up" as much as any girls. They just want to dress up as Super Hero's. It's harder to find Super Hero costumes year round then it is Princess.

 Me and Kylie climbing the cliff at the lake.

Follow the leader.

In the hot tub with goggles.

I took Kylie and Brie and Jenny to Sean's favorite restaurant, The Oaks. The water is way down and there was beach at the lake. The kids had a blast having a sleep over, swimming, running around and playing at the beach. The girls are so grown up.

I took Jenny the girls and Sean up to the lake and spent Thursday night and went to the lake Friday. I wanted to spend some time talking to Jenny and see if I could figure out what she's thinking. It was tough because Jenny really doesn't think that much. That sounds very critical yet that is not my intent. She really doesn't think, she reacts. While I stay up nights worrying, planning and thinking Jenny is just plugging along without any real thought about the future beyond what she has to do to get or stay out of trouble at the moment and how to have a good time. The lies just come out of her mouth when she thinks it suits her better than the truth. I asked her once why she lies and she said "to stay out of trouble or get people to do things for me." When I try to find out how she "feels" it is equally tough because she doesn't "feel" the same way I do. I asked her if she's worried about being responsible for the girls and she said "no" are you excited, are you happy, are you scared? She really isn't any of those things she just "is". Her emotions are not normal. I've seen her scared, I've seen her cry but I still don't ever know how she really feels about anything. This is a woman who left her 11 day old baby with me for days. Last night I had anxiety because Sean was sleeping downstairs with Jenny and the girls and I was upstairs. I could no sooner leave my infant with a stranger then read a book by Glenn Beck.
I picked Jenny and the girls up from her rehab class Thursday at 5:30 then I drove her to check out a baby sitter for the girls before we had dinner and went to the lake. DCFS says she has to give them a name of a child care provider before she gets the girls back. I really liked the lady and her house was clean. (Her daughter's name is Dragon). She said she'd watch the girls until 11 at night and weekends, which is really a plus. She's $15 per day per child which Jenny said wasn't bad but then I reminded her that she makes $72 per day before taxes so it was a big chunk. She said "oh, you're right." I think her plan is to tell DCFS she is leaving the girls with this sitter and then leave them with Ryan or his dad. Lanette said the case worker has already said she is going to stop by the babysitter and if the girls aren't there demand Jenny produce them immediately. We will see how that works out. I felt bad for the babysitter because she seems like a nice woman and if she has anything to do with Jenny she will end up losing money.

Thursday night for about two hours I went over Jenny's budget with her for how she plans to support the girls when she gets them back next week. I was able to balance her budget with the exception of food, day care, clothes or supplies for the girls. Pretty big exceptions. Jenny thinks she can get someone else to cover all those expenses. When I read about poverty and thought processes all the research says that people who are raised poor don't think about tomorrow or plan, if they have money they spend it today because they fully expect tomorrow to be a struggle. I am trying to change generations of thinking. It's not going to happen.


I thought about explaining price matching and coupon shopping then remembered I haven't had any success in teaching her to clean up the dog crap all over her floor. She said Clarice and her peer parent both told her to clean up the crap. In the next breath she told me the girls brought home a "free" kitten and she told them they could keep it. Good grief.

The DCFS saga: Lanette called upset saying that Clarice told her the girls were going back to Jenny and there was nothing she could do about it. The next day there was a hearing for Ryan and he didn't show. His attorney said Ryan didn't know about it. DCFS said that was not true they had told him. His attorney said it wasn't enough notice.... Long story, Lanette, case worker, GAL and attorney sat out in the hall and talked. The girls are going back for the "trial placement" and the final determination will occur on the 17th. The judge has asked to meet the girls. The GAL called Catherine and Catherine prepared the paperwork to subpoena their phone records because apparently no one at DCFS knows how to do it. While I'm on the topic of DCFS the state of Utah will no longer investigate child abuse where the only allegation is domestic violence because it is costing them too much money. So no doubt Ryan and Jenny's attorneys will say the girls should go back to them because they shouldn't have been taken in the first place.

On an amusing note: Lanette has been looking for a house downtown that the girls keep talking about. The girls say they are going to move there with their mom and dad and grandpa and Sean. DCFS wants to know where the house is so they can contact the landlord and see if Jenny and Ryan have gone there together. Lanette has been trying to figure out where it was. I told her I'd see what I could find out. About 10 pm Jenny just spontaneously says "there is a house we want on 7 south and 2 east across from Corner Stone. It is perfect it has a room for everyone and a tire swing in the front yard but we can't afford it." I texted the address to Lanette. When we got back from the lake I dropped Jenny off at work and called Lanette to see where she wanted to meet and she said  how about 7th and 2nd. She's a funny one! I drove up 7th and low and behold there was the house with the tire swing. Lanette was going to call the GAL with the address. It was just so funny. Lanette asked me how I got that information out of Jenny. I told her I didn't even bring it up! Jenny lies so much and then she spontaneously spews out random truths. She told me she got her drivers license last week. I told her I didn't believer her and to look me in the eye and say it again. She looked me in they eye and said it again and I said you are lying! She said "you can't tell I have colored contacts in." I said "show it to me" and she said "I don't have it with me" I said "liar" and she changed the subject. That too was funny in a pathetic way.

Happy Birthday Don

Don turned 52 on Wednesday. He went flying in the afternoon, practicing taking off and landing. Then we went to dinner at Lone Star and came home for cake and ice cream. Yes, I know that is one sad looking cake. Tasted good though!

The weeks adventures

 We really didn't have any big adventures this week. Sean wanted to do a craft so we put school glue and water in a spray bottle and stain glassed his bedroom window with tissue paper.

 It was a fun project and looks cool. You can see the colors of Sean's window from the off ramp on the highway. It made me laugh. I don't know how fun it will be when it comes time to take it down.

 Sean is a clothes horse. He loves shirts, shoes, underwear.... There is some drama in regards to shirts because he has to look at every shirt before deciding which one he will wear and even then he is indecisive. It can be a long process as he has lots of shirts. Add to that he might want to change shirts though out the day and it's a lot of closet time. I hang all his shirts and the closet bar is to high for him to reach. If I put them in a drawer then he would have to pull every shirt out of the drawer to decide what to wear. Don got a new bar and put it down low where Sean could reach it. He was so happy. It is funny how such a little thing can bring a little boy so much joy. He hung up all his shirts and just sifted through them. He then changed shirts about a dozen times hanging up the one he had just taken off all because he can. He has to pull out all his underwear and look at them before he decides which to wear but they are easy to get to.

 Hanging up his shirts. Yes, Don drilled a hole in that lovely rubber maid dresser to set the bar. Such disregard for fine furniture. I'm thinking Sean and I might have to craft those drawers up!

 We got Sean's new headboard last week. He loves that because he can keep so many books at close reach. Last week I read him "I will love you forever." I cried while I was reading it and Sean said "When you get old and little I will carry you." That made me cry even harder. When my dad was dying he was having seizures and I was worried he would fall off the bed so I told the aide I wanted to put the mattress on the floor. She asked "what will we do with your dad while we move the mattress" and I said "I will hold him." My dad was so little I was able to hold him in my arms while she moved the mattress it was one of those moments in time that will stay with me forever.

We also got a new bed frame for Sean. It has four big drawers under it for him to keep his toys in. All and all Sean has a pretty awesome room now.

Other stuff:
I have been teaching maternity and pediatric nursing at Eagle gate college this summer. It's been fun. I have learned some new things and it actually requires a Masters in Nursing so I feel like I am putting that degree to use. They asked me to teach another class in the fall. I was considering it then I got offered a weekly column at the Salt Lake Tribune. I decided I'd rather write for the paper because it is something different. I am covering Davis county school district so it is non-nursing writing. Kind of a fun change.

I have been coupon shopping and price matching for a couple of months. Today I saved so much money that I had to get an over-ride and congratulations from the manager. The cashier said I needed to buy him lunch, he was sweating. A lady got behind me with less than 20 items. The store wasn't that crowded. I told her she really didn't want to get behind me because I was price matching everything in the cart and using coupons. She said "no I just want to watch." How strange is that. It was a fun shopping excursion. Ah, the things that I find fun. I do not like to shop for clothes but I do love to shop for groceries.

It's pins and needles time

No I'm not nervous about how we are going to pay for our new front yard swimming pool! Sean and Ethan having a good time on Saturday.

My nerves really can't take the continued drama of Jenny and Ryan and custody. We are coming down to the wire and it's getting heated. Lanette called and told me that Ryan had told the girls therapist that after they get the girls back they are going to get Sean. Yikes if that didn't have me running for an ativan. Then yesterday Lanette told me the girls told her they had gone to a blue house with their mommy and they were going to live there with their mom, dad and Grandpa and they had their own room and so did Sean. Just hearing them mention Sean makes my heart pound, my stomach hurt and gives me a full blown anxiety attack.

Here's the update on the week. Catherine (my niece) put a serious bug in the guardian ad litem's ear and now the GAL is on fire and fighting for the girls. At the team meeting last week (I didn't go, couldn't take it). They cancelled Ryan's unsupervised visits because he had his dad at visits with the girls as witnessed by Lanette. Brie told Lanette that her grandpa had a big gun and a knife and was going to kill her (Lanette). Touching words from a 4-year-old to be sure. Jenny told the team that she had found a 24 hour day care next to her work. (Lie it closes at 6 pm). They cancelled the trial home placement that was supposed to start this week and Lanette has taken the girls to Lake Powell. There is a hearing scheduled for July 25th before a judge to see if they have cause to stop Ryan's visits. The GAL is then putting together and evidence hearing for August 17 when the girls are supposed to be sent home with their mom. There are no extensions after the 17th. Either they go home or rights are terminated. I'm sure there is an appeal process for Jenny and Ryan but there would be no reunification on the part of the state and visits would stop. The GAL has subpoenaed Jenny and Ryan's phone records. They have a picture off their face book where Kylie is sitting on Ryan's dad's lap during one of Jenny's visits. The girls are not allowed to be around Ryan's dad. I don't know what is going to happen and I am scared to even hope. The case worker is pessimistic and says it doesn't matter what the attorney's do the girls are going home with their mom. The GAL is more positive that she is going to get rights terminate. Jenny is still lying constantly. Ryan's attorney is a pit bull. How she can sleep at night fighing to send those girls back to the hell hole they came from is beyond me. I suppose it's her job.

Jenny called me in a tizzy on Thursday because she had the girls and had to meet with her parole officer. I drove to her house picked her up and took the girls and Sean for ice cream while she had her visit. On her way there she kept saying that she had anxiety and hadn't slept the night before. When I picked her up she said it went well and she had a new parole office but kept her hands in her head and said she had a pounding headache and was stressed. It takes a lot to stress Jenny she usually just lies.

A funny note: While I had the kids at Sonic Brie said "Gama can priguns fry?" I said "what". She repeated "can priguns fry?" I looked at her and there was a pigeon standing at her feet. "Yes Brie, pigeons can fly." I told Lanette and she said the speech therapist said Brie's problem is just lack of stimulation in her early years and that it will continue to improve with stimulation. (That of course is not the funny part).

The hearing on the 17th should be a doozy, with phone records, Lanette's statement, the therapist testimony, face book pictures and I am guessing they will subpoena Alika about seeing them in the bar. I said to Jenny "why didn't you tell me you saw Alika in a bar?" and she said "I did." I said "you did not" and she said well I asked you how old Alika was and I told you I picked a friend up from a bar. Right Jenny that's just like telling me you were in  a bar with Ryan drinking and ran into Alika TWICE!

 I am praying that the judge will protect the girls and do the right thing for them by allowing them to be raised in a loving, stable home.  If the judge sends them home I will have to increase by Lexapro and will probably have a total break down. I can't imagine Sean going back to them. Sean hungry, scared, sleeping in filth.

Jenny wanted Sean overnight this week and I told her no but that Don would drop Sean off for they day on his way to work and pick him up on his way home. When Don told Sean where they were going Sean looked at Don and said "Daddy please don't leave me there."  Just typing that makes me cry. Please God don't make us leave him there. It's not fair to Sean and I couldn't stand for him to have to grow up in an abusive, neglectful home. He is such a great little boy and we love him so much. He did have a fun day with his sisters and was happy when Don picked him up. I'm OK with play dates but please no over night visits.

Some fun and the ongoing headache

We went to the planetarium today. Sean insisted on wearing his Superman costume even though it was hot! It made people smile. He was pretty darn cute.

Sean does not like movie theaters. We thought the 30 minute movie at the planetarium, Space Pirates might keep his attention but he insisted on leaving. He doesn't like the way movie theaters make him feel, the big screen bothers him. He loves to watch movies at home. Oh well, Don and I never go to the movies anyway. The only  reason we go is to take him and he doesn't like it so we will just do something else. He did like the exhibits at the planetarium. Here's Superman visiting the moon. Note, he is wearing snow boots.

Friday I picked up Jenny and the girls and we met up with Jaclyn and her girls at the aquarium. We have no idea who the little boy standing next to Jaclyn is.

Sean and Brie.

Kylie and Sean

We all went to Chick fil a for lunch. It was dress up like a cow and get a free sandwich day. We were unaware of this and did not dress up like cows. It was amazing the number of people including business men who came in dressed up like cows. It got so crazy we had to leave. We then went to Jaclyn's and played until it was time to meet Lanette and return the girls to their safe, happy foster home.

Now the ongoing headache:
I went to the "Team Meeting" for Jenny a couple of weeks ago. It was ridiculous. All the professionals said "Those girls should not go back to their parents" but the bottom line is on August 17th "unless something catastrophic happens" they are going back to Jenny. DCFS was there, the counselor, foster mom, me, drug counselor and domestic violence counselor. The drug counselor said "Jenny's not the sharpest marble." What the heck, marbles are sharp? How sharp is the drug counselor. When Jenny came in the room she started to hyperventilate and went a little crazy and the drug counselor asked her if she had any pills she could take. What the crap? Jenny's whole hyperventilating was manipulation to get out of answering questions. The drug counselor was asking her when the last time she saw Ryan was and Jenny didn't want to answer, she kept saying "awhile".

On July 4th Alika was at a bar in Salt Lake at 1 am and Jenny was there. The first thing Jenny said to her was "don't tell Carol you saw me." All week Jenny kept trying to find out if Alika had told me. I didn't say anything figuring knowledge is power. This Friday Alika went back to the same bar and this time Jenny and Ryan were both there at 1 am, drunk. Jenny is telling Alika how she only drinks because she misses the girls. Ryan is pointing to a new tattoo of Sean's face he has on his arm saying "that's my boy, that's my son." Alika was very upset and went out to the car with her friends and was crying. I asked Alika what the heck kind of bar she was in that she was running into the likes of those two and she says it's a "trendy bar." Hm, doesn't sound to trendy.

Bottom line: Ryan had no job, is still living with his father and has done nothing he was supposed to do to get the girls back. Jenny has done the minimum required to get the girls back, is still drinking and lying and now has a felony conviction. None of it matters the girls will go back to Jenny which means they will go back to Ryan.  Of course it's only a matter of time before they end up back in foster care but how much time and at what cost to the girls? Will it be 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years? Will it be after the girls are teenagers and too old to adopt? Our system is broken!

Happy 105th birthday Grandma

 Grandma died at 92 but it is the day of her birth so we will  remember and celebrate.

Grandma and my Grandfather Bill Warehime on their wedding day.

Grandpop Dolder, Uncle Ed, Aunt Marian and Grandma on Uncle Ed's wedding day. Outside the house on Hyde Park. I have fond memories of that house. There was a stream on the right side of the house that we used to like to play in and jump over. The bushes in her yard always reminded me of the plastic bushes that came in army toy sets. There was a little store down the street that we used to walk to. Pam and Lisa Brach lived down the street and we would go to their house sometimes. Grandma never learned to drive so she would take us downtown on the bus. That was always an adventure because it was the only time I ever rode the public bus as a child. We would go to the Woolworth's downtown. She would also take us to movies. I remember going to see Charlie Brown and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with Grandma.

Mom (and it must be Lynn) Grandma and Aunt Marian on Grandma's front steps. We used to love to play on those steps too. It was a game to see how many of the steps you could jump down.  When I was 6 or 7 we were staying at Grandma's and mom and dad pulled up out front and they had bought a new station wagon. That was so exciting!! We all ran out yelling and jumping.

Grandma only finished 8th grade. She never finished high school or graduated from college but she was one of the most literate people I've ever known.  She was a gifted writer and spoke well. She would have loved to continue her education but she was the 11th of 13 children. There was a younger brother Henry who died as an infant and Lily who were born after Grandma. Grandma's mother died after Lily was born and there was not a lot of time or money for education. When we were kids and had to give talks at church mom would always tell us to go to Grandma. She wrote ALL our 2 1/2 minute talks growing up. When Grandma died I found a talk she had written about death. I used that talk for her funeral. I thought it was very nice of her to write that talk for me, it made it much easier to read her own words.

Grandma's hair turned white in her 30's. She never dyed it and was pure white my entire life. She had the brightest blue eyes. Quite a few of my nieces and nephews have those eyes. Jaclyn has them and so do her daughters.

We always got two Christmases as kids. First we had Christmas at our house then we went over to Grandma's house and had a second Christmas under her tree. Grandma worked nights as a telephone operator when I was a child. When we were sick and mom had to work sometimes Dad would drive over to Grandma's house and pick her up and she would come watch us. When I was 10 or 11 Grandma broke her arm. I spent the summer at her house. It was kind of boring but she bought be a set of Louisa May Alcott's  books. I loved to read and so did Grandma. My mom is a big reader too.



Another picture from Grandma's living room. Grandma's guest bedroom was the room right behind that couch. She had these two huge panda bear stuffed toys. I was so scared of one of them. It used to wake up at night and grin at me and it had metal teeth. OK, maybe that was a dream but I was scared of toy. Grandma's house smelled like Downy fabric softener.



Grandma and Aunt Lily at the Grand Canyon. Grandma didn't let age slow here down. In her 80's she took a train ride across the country because she wanted to. Lily and Grandma were the last two surviving of their siblings. Lily came to visit on Grandma's 90th birthday.

Grandma dressed up as Mrs Claus at Christmas. It really wasn't a stretch because she looked just like Mrs. Claus.

Grandma went to work at the Washington D.C. temple. What was supposed to be a 2 year calling turned into 13 years. She really wanted to die in the temple and would have been very happy if that had happened but she outlived her temple calling.

I think this is an Easter picture.

Grandma with Great grandchildren, Stephanie, Alex and Andrea and Mom and Dad's house on Chapel Hill Road.

More great grandchildren, Alex, Carter, Shari, Stephanie and Autumn.

Grandma's 90 birthday. Lily came out for her party.

One final note about my Grandmother. She LOVED food! She would write me 13 page letters when she was at the temple and I was in college. 11 of those 13 pages would be describing what she ate at a buffet. I can't think about Grandma without thinking about food.
Happy Birthday Grandma.

Hiking

We went hiking up Millcreek canyon. We were looking for bears and skunks but we didn't find any. We did find a rope swing.

Craziness.

Monkey's swinging in the trees.

This picture doesn't do justice to how far out they climbed on this tree for a picture. It was really high over a stream.

Sean was seriously dirty after this hike. For awhile he sat and played with a stick in the dirt.

The weather was perfect for a hike. I am so out of shape, I was definitely out hiked by a 3-year-old.