Quality Time

Sean and Ethan play "dress up" as much as any girls. They just want to dress up as Super Hero's. It's harder to find Super Hero costumes year round then it is Princess.

 Me and Kylie climbing the cliff at the lake.

Follow the leader.

In the hot tub with goggles.

I took Kylie and Brie and Jenny to Sean's favorite restaurant, The Oaks. The water is way down and there was beach at the lake. The kids had a blast having a sleep over, swimming, running around and playing at the beach. The girls are so grown up.

I took Jenny the girls and Sean up to the lake and spent Thursday night and went to the lake Friday. I wanted to spend some time talking to Jenny and see if I could figure out what she's thinking. It was tough because Jenny really doesn't think that much. That sounds very critical yet that is not my intent. She really doesn't think, she reacts. While I stay up nights worrying, planning and thinking Jenny is just plugging along without any real thought about the future beyond what she has to do to get or stay out of trouble at the moment and how to have a good time. The lies just come out of her mouth when she thinks it suits her better than the truth. I asked her once why she lies and she said "to stay out of trouble or get people to do things for me." When I try to find out how she "feels" it is equally tough because she doesn't "feel" the same way I do. I asked her if she's worried about being responsible for the girls and she said "no" are you excited, are you happy, are you scared? She really isn't any of those things she just "is". Her emotions are not normal. I've seen her scared, I've seen her cry but I still don't ever know how she really feels about anything. This is a woman who left her 11 day old baby with me for days. Last night I had anxiety because Sean was sleeping downstairs with Jenny and the girls and I was upstairs. I could no sooner leave my infant with a stranger then read a book by Glenn Beck.
I picked Jenny and the girls up from her rehab class Thursday at 5:30 then I drove her to check out a baby sitter for the girls before we had dinner and went to the lake. DCFS says she has to give them a name of a child care provider before she gets the girls back. I really liked the lady and her house was clean. (Her daughter's name is Dragon). She said she'd watch the girls until 11 at night and weekends, which is really a plus. She's $15 per day per child which Jenny said wasn't bad but then I reminded her that she makes $72 per day before taxes so it was a big chunk. She said "oh, you're right." I think her plan is to tell DCFS she is leaving the girls with this sitter and then leave them with Ryan or his dad. Lanette said the case worker has already said she is going to stop by the babysitter and if the girls aren't there demand Jenny produce them immediately. We will see how that works out. I felt bad for the babysitter because she seems like a nice woman and if she has anything to do with Jenny she will end up losing money.

Thursday night for about two hours I went over Jenny's budget with her for how she plans to support the girls when she gets them back next week. I was able to balance her budget with the exception of food, day care, clothes or supplies for the girls. Pretty big exceptions. Jenny thinks she can get someone else to cover all those expenses. When I read about poverty and thought processes all the research says that people who are raised poor don't think about tomorrow or plan, if they have money they spend it today because they fully expect tomorrow to be a struggle. I am trying to change generations of thinking. It's not going to happen.


I thought about explaining price matching and coupon shopping then remembered I haven't had any success in teaching her to clean up the dog crap all over her floor. She said Clarice and her peer parent both told her to clean up the crap. In the next breath she told me the girls brought home a "free" kitten and she told them they could keep it. Good grief.

The DCFS saga: Lanette called upset saying that Clarice told her the girls were going back to Jenny and there was nothing she could do about it. The next day there was a hearing for Ryan and he didn't show. His attorney said Ryan didn't know about it. DCFS said that was not true they had told him. His attorney said it wasn't enough notice.... Long story, Lanette, case worker, GAL and attorney sat out in the hall and talked. The girls are going back for the "trial placement" and the final determination will occur on the 17th. The judge has asked to meet the girls. The GAL called Catherine and Catherine prepared the paperwork to subpoena their phone records because apparently no one at DCFS knows how to do it. While I'm on the topic of DCFS the state of Utah will no longer investigate child abuse where the only allegation is domestic violence because it is costing them too much money. So no doubt Ryan and Jenny's attorneys will say the girls should go back to them because they shouldn't have been taken in the first place.

On an amusing note: Lanette has been looking for a house downtown that the girls keep talking about. The girls say they are going to move there with their mom and dad and grandpa and Sean. DCFS wants to know where the house is so they can contact the landlord and see if Jenny and Ryan have gone there together. Lanette has been trying to figure out where it was. I told her I'd see what I could find out. About 10 pm Jenny just spontaneously says "there is a house we want on 7 south and 2 east across from Corner Stone. It is perfect it has a room for everyone and a tire swing in the front yard but we can't afford it." I texted the address to Lanette. When we got back from the lake I dropped Jenny off at work and called Lanette to see where she wanted to meet and she said  how about 7th and 2nd. She's a funny one! I drove up 7th and low and behold there was the house with the tire swing. Lanette was going to call the GAL with the address. It was just so funny. Lanette asked me how I got that information out of Jenny. I told her I didn't even bring it up! Jenny lies so much and then she spontaneously spews out random truths. She told me she got her drivers license last week. I told her I didn't believer her and to look me in the eye and say it again. She looked me in they eye and said it again and I said you are lying! She said "you can't tell I have colored contacts in." I said "show it to me" and she said "I don't have it with me" I said "liar" and she changed the subject. That too was funny in a pathetic way.