Happy Birthday Kylie and Brie

We had a birthday party for Brie and Kylie today in one of the DCFS playrooms. It was hard to explain to Sean where we were going but it was fun. I remembered last year on Kylie's birthday Jenny took her to the jail to visit Ryan. What a life those girls have had.

The girls look great and are very happy. Kylie stood on a chair and sang us a song, "Happy Halloween and Christmas. There was a spider on my wall. Twinkle, twinkle little star...." It was cute and very creative. Brie had a birthday cookout yesterday with her foster family and got new clothes and a purple basketball.  Sean was very happy to see his sisters and they hugged him! We made necklaces with their names and ages. We sang happy birthday to everyone including Jenny because she didn't get to celebrate her birthday. The candles in the zingers was a little sad but was the best I could do under the circumstances.

Sean was tearful when we got in the car to leave. He wanted to keep playing with his sisters. He was mad at Jenny and wouldn't say bye to her which hurt her feelings. He said he wanted to go home. I pulled into the parking lot of school and he started crying saying he didn't want to go to school he wanted to go home. I said OK and started driving home but then he changed his mind and wanted to go to school. When we got to school the kids had just finished finger painting and were outside playing. Sean and I finger painted and then he was off to play.

I'm supervising some visits at DCFS now, this was the first one. Don felt like I am working against the foster family by supervising the visits. I look at it as giving Sean a chance to see his sisters and having it be Jenny's weekly visit with him so I don't have to worry about it the rest of the week. She has been working pretty hard to do what she is supposed to do to get the girls back. She has said a few strange things to me lately that I think are not the truth but she has had a job for three weeks now.

Grandma Sharon's in Lovington

In Lovington where Don's mom lives Sean caught up with his corn harvester.

Alika and Grandma Sharon's dog Polly.

Polly likes corn. I brought some corn home to make a door hanging. Sharon said she can't make any decorations out of corn at her house because the squirrels will eat it. Hm, maybe Polly is a big squirrel.

Uh oh, I think we lost Alika in a corn field.

Alika and Sean swinging at the Lovington Park.

The park had a cool airplane. Sean liked that it had a propeller. Don liked that Sean can name the parts of an airplane. Sean loved the plane ride to Illinois. He is an expert traveler. He takes his shoes off and puts them in the container then walks through security takes the shoes out and puts them back on. He is so independent.

The yellow house in the distance was the house that Sharon and Uncle Pete lived in when they were in high school.

I can't remember what this picture was. I am sure it has some significance. It looks like it should be Main street but Main street is an alley behind Sharon's house. Lovington is such an interesting town. Sharon and her mother have lived there most of their lives. In it's day it had a movie theater, a bowling alley, four grocery stores and was thriving. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a ghost town but it doesn't have a grocery store any more just a convenience store. It's a pretty town but there are no jobs in close proximity which makes it a place that young families can't live. They are talking about closing the school and busing the kids to the town of Arthur a few miles (or cornfields) away.

This is/was the Foster furrier. It was owned by relatives. (Sharon is a Foster)

This is the sign on the Furrier door. Obviously it's days are long over. Sad:(

The building with the white brick was owned by Sharon's father. He sold De Soto's and Plymouth's there. Now it's a repair shop. The front is new but the side is the original.

Don, Alika, Sean, Sharon and Polly walking the streets of Lovington.

This yellow house is just a few houses away from Sharon's. Don's Dad Dave's grandparents lived there and Dave's senior and junior year in high school he lived there and helped his grandparents out on the farm. His grandfather had arthritis and needed help. Don's Aunt Donna said she lived there for six months at one point. Both of Don's parents have ties to this little town.

This is Sharon's house. She has tons of butterfly and dragonfly.

Grandpa Dave's

While our visit to Illinois was under sad circumstances we did enjoy spending time with Don's family. Don, Alika, Sean and I made the trip. 

Don's dad has this HUGE dog named Badger. This dog is sooo big and he doesn't bark he talks.



Alika and Sean hanging out in the backyard swing.



Don's dad lives on a small lake or large pond. I'm not sure what you call it. It's really pretty and relaxing.

We couldn't find any paddles for the canoe so Alika and Sean had to make do with sitting on them and watching the ducks.

Alika and Sean's feet.

 Visiting Grandpa Dave at work.





Relatives, Matt (Don's step brother) Mary, his cousin, Ian Mary's son and Matt, Don's half brother.

Sean and his new best cousin friend, Emily.

Don and his Aunt Donna from Idaho. (Of course we met up in Illinois)

Don's dad, Dave, Aunt Sarah, Aunt Donna and the back of Uncle Ross the dentist's head.

Don's brother Danny playing football with the kids. They were so cute he got them in a huddle to plan out their plays. The kids had so much fun. Sean's cheeks were bright red. At one point I couldn't find Emily and Sean. I looked all around the yard and house. They live on a golf course so there are a lot of places they could be. I was getting nervous and called out that I couldn't find them. All the adults (and there were a bunch of us) got up and started looking. Within a minute or so Aunt Sarah yelled "found them." They were in an upstairs closet under a blanket playing a board game. Aunt Sarah could hear them giggling in the closet. They thought they were pretty darn smart.



Darci

MACKINAW — Darci L. Patton, 43, Mackinaw, died Wednesday (Sept. 8, 2010) at Greater Peoria Specialty Hospital, Peoria.


Cremation rites will be accorded. A memorial service will be at 5 p.m. Sunday at the Deer Creek- Mackinaw Junior High School gym in Mackinaw. The Rev. Josh Gates will officiate. The family will greet friends from 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday at the gym prior to the service.

The family requests no flowers, but memorials may be made in memory of Darci to an education account for her children at First Security Bank in Mackinaw, Deer Creek or Danvers, or plant a native tree or plant in her remembrance. Haensel Funeral Home, Mackinaw, is assisting the family with arrangements.

Darci was born May 1, 1967, in Champaign, daughter of David and Sharon Foster Lindsay. She married Gary W. Patton on Aug. 10, 1990, in Fisher. He survives.

Also surviving are her father, David (Linda) Lindsay, Dewey; her mother, Sharon Foster Lindsay, Lovington; two children, Kirk and Addie, at home; two brothers, Don (Carol) Lindsay, Centerville, Utah, and Dan Lindsay, Urbana; one sister, Dava (Ghan) Bunyarattaphantu, Overland Park, Kan.; and one stepbrother, Matt Iles, Aurora, Colo.

Darci was a teacher for more than 21 years, the last eight years at Deer-Creek Mackinaw District 701, where she taught science at the junior high school in Mackinaw. Darci enjoyed gardening, scrapbooking and outside activities. Her favorite activities were spending time with her school kids and with her family sharing her love of science.

A Second Visit in Four Months

Ryan had his second visit with Sean since he lost custody of the girls at the beginning of May. He texted last week and wanted to see Sean on Tuesday but Sean was booked. He texted again Thursday and asked when he could see him. I told him we’d meet him at Liberty Park on Sunday at 11. At 10:30 on Saturday he started texting me with questions, “are we still on?” “I will call you on Sunday at 10:30.” It annoyed me, dude there’s nothing to talk about, just show up at the park as scheduled.


We went to the park and Ryan was there. He’d ridden over on his skate board. Sean was a little shy at first but went to play with him. Don and I brought a blanket to hang out on the grass so they could spend some time alone. Ryan showed Sean his new tattoo. I thought that was a nice touch, just a little sign that he has extra cash to burn!
At one point I had visions of Ryan abducting Sean. I told Don and then we both laughed. Picture the Amber Alert, Child abduction. Two year old in red DC shirt, white DC tennis shoes and jean shorts abducted by non custodial parent wearing a hat, jeans, grey t-shirt and new tattoo on left forearm, last seen riding a skate board down 4th south. Then they would show Ryan’s last mug shot along with his father’s. The good news is the media would have pounced on it. But without abduction or drama after 90 minutes Ryan was done and Sean was ready to eat. As I watched Ryan skate off down the street I couldn’t help but reflect on how pitiful his life is.

The only really annoying part was about 15 minutes later Ryan called and said he had a great time “hanging out” with Sean and could he do it every Sunday. I said I was working the next two Sundays and to call me later to schedule another visit. I am not planning my life around him. I have to take Sean somewhere Ryan can walk to because he has no transportation other then a skate board or money. I had a brief anxiety attack that he was going to take us to court and sue to get custody of Sean. Don said please his girls are in state custody and I mellowed out.


Ironically Jenny called me while we were at the park with Ryan. She said “whatcha doin?” I said “we are at the park letting Ryan visit Sean.” Her voice totally changed and she said “how did that happen.” I could tell she really hasn’t been talking to him. That is a positive in her life, maybe she really is going to move on. Jenny got a job working as a telemarketer for a window company. That girl is gifted when it comes to getting jobs just not so gifted at keeping them. She is in trouble with DCFS for not getting drug screens. She thinks it's stupid that she has to get them for her parole officer and DCFS. I told her to just keep her mouth shut and follow the rules. She's never been very good at following the rules either.

End of summer

We took a final summer drive to the lake. Aric and Ethan came. Ethan is Sean’s best next door neighbor friend. Ethan had a blast! The weather was nice but Sean was in a mood because he was tired and didn’t feel good. The boat was misbehaving. Some people on the beach got offended because Sean wasn’t wearing a diaper. (Please!) I ran over my foot with the boat trailer. I was feeling kind of sorry for myself and then I thought of Darci in her hospital bed on a ventilator. I felt guilty for even thinking for a second that we weren’t having a great day. All in all it really was a fun afternoon.

Sean showing Ethan the dirt cave. Ethan was impressed.

AJ trying to hold the boys together long enough for me to get a picture.

Out of the mouths of children

I picked Sean up from school on Thursday and was putting him in his car seat when a little girl sitting in the van next to me said “hi, my mom went back into the school and we are on our way to a funeral.” I said “oh that’s really sad, I am sorry.” She looked confused and said “it’s not sad, funerals are happy you go there to celebrate the good life someone lived.” Hm, nice perspective I thought, then she followed it up with “but we don’t get to eat cause we’re not family.”



Sean has picked up some not so great phrases at school like, “I’m going to punch your head off. I’m going to kill you. I’m going to beat you up.” Not things he’s learned at home. I was standing outside the door watching him play with Ethan (his school friend not the neighbor) and Elijah and Jacob. Ethan was being aggressive to Elijah and Sean would copy him. The teacher was reminding them to play nice and be friends. Sean said “I sorry, I be nice.” The teacher said “I know you will Sean” I could tell she was getting frustrated with Ethan because he kept doing it. I walked in and said to Teacher Maria “I see where Sean has picked up some of him aggressive vocabulary.” She asked what he was saying I told her and she said “yes, that’s Ethan.”


Teacher Maria then said “I hope he doesn’t pick up what Danielle said. Danielle is a very well behaved, darling little twin in the class. I have never heard her be mean or say anything unpleasant. “What did Danielle say” I asked? Maria said “at lunch all the boys were banging their lunch mats and yelling, feed me and Danielle said you boys are being obnoxious.” I said “that’s an appropriate use of the word.” And she said “I told her it’s a potty word and her twin said Daddy says it all the time. I told him we don’t say it at school.” I said “well it’s a big word for a 3-year-old but she used it appropriately.” Maria’s first language is Spanish and it’s a bilingual school so I need to see if obnoxious translates to something “potty” in Spanish. Personally I was impressed with Danielle’s vocabulary. I find Ethan’s aggressive vocabulary very obnoxious!

Earlier in the week Sean got injured at school. His description, “Kenna tried to eat me!” Translation, McKenna bit him on his finger. Maria said she asked Sean to hand her something and he reached his hand in front of McKenna’s face. When I got to school Sean was crying and had an ice pack on his hand and Kenna was in time out. It was all easily remedied with a Sponge Bob band aid and an ice cream from Dairy Queen. At Dairy Queen Sean announced to anyone who would listen “my teacher did not bite me!” Good to know!