One Week

It's been a week and I'm still in a bad place. I think I'm just shocked at how awful I feel. I honestly believed I would be OK with mom dying. She's been telling me she wants to die for a long time. A couple of weeks ago she asked "when is this going to be over?" and when I asked what, she said "my life." She also told me she had so many chances to die and she couldn't believe she was still alive. She was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That said I can't go very long without something making me cry. Ice cream at the grocery store, tapioca pudding, the butter dish........

Sunday we had breakfast and a gathering at the house before everyone headed back to NC, Alabama, Maryland and wherever else they were going. We will go to Maryland sometime in October to bury her ashes next to Dads.