Why I don’t watch reality TV

I don’t watch it on TV because I have front row seats to the live show. The Jenny and Ryan show is a cross between girls gone bad and an episode of Jerry Springer.

I went to court on Thursday to listen to Jenny’s preliminary hearing. I had decided not to go but at the last minute felt compelled. I had to sit through five or six episodes of other people’s ghetto lives before Jenny’s came on. There was the shackled lady who pawned a computer stolen in a robbery. I loved it when the defense attorney said the drivers license she used to identify herself at the pawn shop should be inadmissible as evidence because it was hear say. What the crap! Hear say? That made me chuckle. Then there was the lady who tried to pass off forged American Express checks at Wal-Mart. She came to court in her bedroom slippers. I thought that was a nice touch. There were a couple of Hispanics in hand cuffs and shackles who waived their rights to a preliminary hearing through a translator. There was a very normal well dressed looking lady who pleads guilty to communications fraud. (Actually would have liked to hear that story.) The last opener was a pimp looking dude who was charged with violating a protective order. (I took a potty break during that episode).

Jenny came out wearing her tan scrubs, orange tennis shoes, hand cuffs and shackles. Not really a good look for anyone but she really didn’t look bad. Her hair was curly, she stood up straight, she didn’t mutter when she was talking to the judge and she seemed confident. She didn’t know I was there. She plead guilty to a class A misdemeanor of attempted aggravated assault. I suppose that means she missed when she through the brick at him. The attorney explained to the judge that she was with the father of her baby (and which baby would that be) and they were drunk and fighting. He further explained that whenever she and her boyfriend with whom she cohabitated got together they got drunk and beat each other up. “Boyfriend,” “father of baby,” are those court euphemisms for “married.” The judge then explained to Jenny that there was a no contact order in place which meant no texting, no writing, no seeing other, no sending messages, and no calls. He asked if she understood. She said yes. He dismissed her and said she could be released to pretrial supervision with a decreased bail. As I was leaving Jenny looked over her shoulder She saw me, we made eye contact and I left. I know she was looking for Ryan.

She started calling Friday at 6:45 am. I turned the phone off and left for work. In the afternoon Ryan texted asking me to give him $150 for bail and he would pay me back that evening. Later in the evening he asked for $100 for bail and said he would pay me back Monday. I didn’t respond to either. This afternoon a bail bondsman called and asked if I was Jennifer’s mother. I said no, what do you want. He said he wanted me to pay $200 to bail her out and then sign papers guaranteeing she would show up for court. I declined. I texted Ryan because ignoring him didn’t get the message across and told him I wasn’t bailing Jenny out.
As strange as it seems I actually feel a little bad about not bailing her out. It’s the same kind of bad I feel when I pass a pan handler and don’t give them money. I have no reason to bail her out. I didn’t put her in jail. No one in her family will bail her out. I told Don I felt guilty because I could easily pay the money, Don gave me perspective by saying there was an entire jail full of people who would love to have me bail them out and did I fell badly about them too. Those two have no boundaries as it is. I know once she gets out she will be asking to stay with me and that’s not going to happen either.

Ryan texted on Wed and asked to see Sean and if I would bring him his Utes hat. (Sean has it in his toy box.) WHAT, your wife is in jail, you’ve lost your kids to DCFS, you’ve been evicted from your house, you have no job and you’re worried about a stupid hat? Fine, I’ll bring your hat! I told him I would meet him at the downtown McDonalds on Sunday at 12. Hopefully, he won’t show. He was supposed to go see the girls today at 11 but called Sabrina extremely impaired at 7 am saying he didn’t have a ride. He said his dad had gone camping two days ago and hadn’t come back and was supposed to give him money for working. He said Jenny had called him and yelled at him for not pawning the couch they stole from Rent A Center. (Would that be legal?) He said he knew there is a no contact order but he just loves her so much.

Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Salt Lake Ghetto