Expletive

 We all showed up to court today. The attorneys ran in and out of rooms. Jenny's DV and drug counselor have flip flopped and say she is doing great. The state got worried the judge would send the girls home so now it is going to mediation on October 19th and if they can't resolve there will be a trial in December.

I've gone over the edge

I've been couponing for about six months now and the deals keep getting better and better. As in they pay me to take stuff. Today I reached a new low or high, depending on your perspective. The coupons in the Red Plum mail insert were excellent. So excellent in fact that I wanted, needed, had to have MORE! About 2 pm I went to the post office and dumpster dove. Well, not really dumpster dove. I went through the recycling bins where people throw their mail away when they take it out of the PO box. SCORE! Don was a little mortified. My niece admits that she's done it but only at night. I did it in the middle of the day and talked to people while I did it.  Yet, still I am hesitant to share this on my blog. Not because I am embarrassed as obviously I've gone over the edge and have no pride but because I'm worried all you blog readers will run to the Centerville post office and get all the coupons and not leave me any!

This week I bought a ton of razors. Nope, no one at my house uses that brand so I've been giving them away to neighbors. Food drives etc are coming up. Why did I buy them? Because for every pack I bought they gave me a dollar! How crazy is that. Dove body wash for .25 and a lot of free toothpaste. It is an adrenalin rush. How sad is that? I am officially insane! I got 9 bottles of Visine because it was free. Gave it all away.

Now you know that crazy woman in front of you at the check out line is ME!

Jenny update: Talked to Jenny last night. She's sort of moved in to the new place. The eviction hearing is tomorrow but I doubt she'll go since she's already found a new place, She asked if I had talked to Alika about what she was going to say in court and I told her Alika said she had seen her at the bar twice not once. Jenny said that's belligerent. (That's her word of the week.) She said, it wasn't true. I said well Jenny I wasn't there but YOU KNOW THE TRUTH. She didn't say anything after that. I told her if she and Alika would stay the hell away from bars they wouldn't run into each other. Tomorrow is Brie's birthday so I'm taking them all to Chuck e Cheese. Talked to the attorney today, she wanted to know how Alika and I were feeling. I told her we were stressed but OK. Talked to Lanette, they forgot to subpoena her but put her on the witness list today. Ryan missed two scheduled visits with the girls this weekend and Jenny didn't have hers because she moved. Janene said the judge probably won't rule on Friday. She doesn't know how long that will take. Jenny is sounding pitiful. Her sister called me the other day and said that Jenny had told her family she had the girls back and they were in school and dance.  Alika and I are going to Catherine's tonight and she is going to roll play as Jenny and Ryan's attorney with us.

My South Davis Story

Bountiful hospital harbors school for disabled children
By Carol Lindsay

Updated: September 21, 2011 11:24PM

  The Salt Lake Tribune Yvonne Mellinger, a teacher for severely handicapped kids, works with Mallory, left, and Jessica during a recent morning at a facility for kids who are too fragile or sick to go to a public school. The South Davis Community Hospital in Bountiful provides a school setting within a nursing facility for a few hours every week day. Many of these kids are in foster care and have very complicated social situations and are in need of ventilators. Bountiful • Oxygen flows, ventilator alarms ring, IV pumps hum and lunch is served through a feeding tube in the classroom at South Davis Community Hospital. Each school day, children in wheelchairs gather to learn in the day room that also serves as a classroom. It is a school with no sign, no name and no mascot.

 South Davis Community Hospital provides long-term, rehabilitative and palliative care to children suffering from many conditions, including acquired brain injuries, spinal cord dysfunction, neuromuscular conditions, genetic syndromes, congenital anomalies, critical illness, severe trauma and disabilities. Currently, 25 children call the facility home. Ten of them attend public schools while six are educated within the hospital. The others are too young for school.

 CJ Benson, the hospital’s community liaison, explained the in-hospital school began in the early 1980s. “Because some children are medically fragile or attending school outside the facility would be too stressful, the administrators identified the need for a school and worked with the district to provide one.” Since that time a teacher, aide and resources have been supplied to the hospital through the Davis County School District.

Yvonne Mellinger, 62, has worked as a teacher in the Davis County School District for 35 years and has taught the children at South Davis Community Hospital for 18 years. She earned her bachelor’s degree and teaching certificate from Brigham Young University and attended graduate school at Utah State.

 Mellinger looks around the room and describes her students as “the most beautiful children in the world.” Their needs are diverse. All are in wheelchairs; none can communicate through speech.

Mellinger is a hands-on teacher who gets close to the children when she interacts. Since most suffer from cortical blindness, they have limited or no vision. Mellinger’s students communicate through eye movements, a shrug of the shoulder, or a leg movement. But she is able to interpret physical cues others would miss. One child’s slight finger twitch means she doesn’t want to participate; a moan from another indicates he is over-stimulated.

Each child’s learning goals are developed with the school district using an Individualized Education Plan. Most are working on the five senses. Sight in a child with cortical blindness is stimulated by holding bright colors before their eyes and observing response.

“Even a child with cortical blindness can have a favorite color,” said Mellinger.

Hearing is stimulated through reading, talking and music, and Mellinger stimulates her students’ sense of touch by placing different types of fabrics or objects in the their hands or touching their faces. She holds scented markers under their noses for them to smell, and staff make popcorn and bake cookies so the children can enjoy the aromas.

“The most rewarding aspect as a teacher is when students break through the impossible, they respond and I see understanding in their eyes. These kids work harder than any other students,” Mellinger explained.

The hardest part of the job for Mellinger is losing a child. “The hardest part is when they pass away. They say your heart grows and there is space in there for every single child. It’s true and it’s not a little space, it’s a big one. I quit counting after I lost 50 children but I remember each one. They are a part of me,” said Mellinger.

Margo Evan, a certified therapeutic recreational therapist, works with the children arranging field trips, pet therapy and activities.

“We took the kids roller skating. We pushed them in their wheelchairs and they enjoyed the music, and the disco ball and the feel of movement. We make sure they have a good quality of life. Just because they live in a care center doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have all the opportunities of other children.”

 

Waiting

Alika and I are waiting to get served. Alika got a call yesterday afternoon from the girls attorney Janene letting us know we would be getting subpoenaed. Alika will be questioned about seeing Jenny and Ryan in a bar and I will be questioned about the abuse I have seen, ie bruises etc.

Jenny called me yesterday morning very upset and told me that her attorney had told her I was going to be subpoenaed. She wanted to know what I was going to say. I told her I hadn't been served or heard that I was going to be and if I did what I said would depend on what I was asked. Jenny and I had a long talk about the girls. At one point she said "well at least if I lose the girls I will still have Sean." I said "Jenny, you're not getting Sean back!" She said she knew that and meant she would have more time to see him.  She told be about the phone records being subpoenaed. I asked her how often they talked and she said lots. She said they were talking about the girls. I asked her what there was to talk about when she didn't have them. Then she said they were talking about their divorce. I said I had been divorced and certainly didn't spend time on the phone with my soon to be ex. I told her to keep trying to come up with something I would believe and she said that was all she had. I told her that was a BIG problem. She said she knew. We talked a lot about her parenting, her plans for the girls if she gets them back, my goals for the girls and the kind of life I would like them to have. I really don't want to hurt or alienate Jenny. She's had a crappy life but I have to protect the kids. As soon as I actually get served I will tell Jenny and tell her that Alika was served too. When she told me I was getting served I told her I was not happy about being dragged into this and did not want to be in the courtroom.

Jenny kept saying she didn't know what she would do if she lost the girls. She said her attorney told her they would appeal. We talked a little about what she would do. I suggested go to school. She is really starting to process that it could happen. I do not understand how she could want the girls back yet so blatantly break the rules and not follow her case plan. She is still lying and not following it. Did she think there would be no consequences?

I was thinking that all Ryan and Jenny's attorneys would do on rebuttal is ask if I had ever seen them hit each other. Catherine said they will attack me and make it look like I am lying because I want Sean. I am trying to emotionally prepare for anything they throw at me. It's unnerving. Hopefully, this will be it and the girls will be raised in a safe loving home and we won't have to worry about them ever coming back and trying to take Sean. I feel bad that Alika has been dragged into this. She is worried that Ryan will come after her. I told her that wouldn't happen but if she ever ran into Ryan in a bar she needed to leave immediately with friends.

I asked Janene if she would do any sort of negotiating or bargaining at this point for Jenny and she said Jenny's attorney had called her several weeks ago and wanted to make a deal but she said there would be NO DEAL. My goal is to still have some sort of functional positive relationship with Jenny when this is over. She's still the woman who gave birth to Sean and she was never loved or cared for as a child. She was destined for failure. I just don't know any way to break the cycle for her children without Jenny being hurt in the process. Lanette is willing to have Jenny be a part of the girls lives if she adopts them. Hopefully Jenny's heart will heal as she watches Kylie, Brie, Sean and Ryder become successful, productive happy adults and have the stable, loving childhoods that she didn't get. Childhood is so important but it is such a small portion of a person's life. As much as I love Sean I care very deeply for Jenny. I know that's kind of twisted but it's true. When we were at Kangaroo Zoo last week Jenny didn't have any socks so she couldn't play on the jumpy toys. She ran over and said "can I have two dollars to buy socks?" I gave her a five dollar bill and she ran over bought the socks and then brought me the change. She is one of my kids too. One that I frequently want to smack upside the head but one that I care for. Now I'm rambling and crying a little bit.

This and that pictures

Our name in lights. The sign company finally got the sign moved to the new classroom.

It looks awesome at night with the lights on!

On Sunday while I was working Don took Sean to the Great Salt Lake to a race at the Sports Park. They had a good time watching the cars and motorcycles.

David got a new job at "Five Guys burgers and fries". They require short hair. (Yes, Don and I are heart broken.) Off came a years worth of hair. Alika put it all in a bag and is going to give it to her mom. David's always wanted really long hair, he did it and now it's short. It looks really great.

Scarey faces and other stuff

Sean and Ethan as the Incredible Hulk. At the fair Sean and Ethan wanted to get their faces painted. No way am I paying five bucks for face painting when they get their faces painted at Ethan's house whenever they want. Note the lack of shirts, that's the other part of their "costume."

I took the kids to Kangaroo Zoo. Up they go.

 And down they go.

 

Ethan, Brie, Kylie and Sean waiting for something, what I wasn't sure. I could not handle Kangaroo Zoo pizza so we went out to a late lunch afterwards.

Then we came home and Miranda did some more face painting.

This is what a purple Spidergirl looks like



Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Where to begin. And no Heather, she's not pregnant just fat. (I hope) She is convinced the world is against her. She's being evicted from her house.(she didn't tell me that I saw the court document. She told me she just wants to move to a new neighborhood.) She's upset because her "peer parent" told her that her house was not a safe environment for the girls. Clarice told her she couldn't reschedule her visits anymore she had to show up at the agreed time or forfeit. Last week she called Lanette when Lanette was half way to her house and cancelled. This all makes Jenny angry and she had a few expletives to say about it. She was supposed to work on Saturday but called in because she didn't have anywhere to leave the girls and has been told not to take them to work. I told her I would take her and the girls somewhere fun on Saturday. I picked them up at 1030 and we all went to Kangaroo Zoo. The girls wanted to come home with me. Jenny wanted me to drop her off at MacDonald's so she could borrow her friends car so she could look at apartments. She said she would come pick the girls up from my house at 6. The girls had a great time playing outside with Sean and Ethan. Of course Jenny couldn't come to my house and pick the girls up and she wasn't sure what she was doing so at 7 I dropped the girls off at the MacDonald's on Redwood Road. I don't know what she did after that. She was supposed to meet Lanette at the Sandy Trax station on Sunday at 7 but went to work and took the girls with her instead so Lanette had to drive in to Salt Lake to pick them up. She works at an assisted living center that is full of felons and really scarey people! I know because Claudia's nephew is there and her sister Lynda tells me what an awful place it is. It's the only place her schizophrenic son hasn't been kicked out of. Well actually he gets kicked out all the time but then they let him back. Sixteen months those girls have been in DCFS care and Jenny has not changed a bit.
Kylie and Brie are both in school. Kylie seems pretty well adjusted. Brie I'm not so sure about. She clings to Jenny when she's with her and doesn't talk or play but when Jenny is gone she's fine. Lanette said she's clingy with her too but does well at school.

Was it Char's birthday cake?

Art and Char were in town and it was Char's birthday, they came over for dinner and a cake. Art said "I told you it would be chocolate on chocolate." Like there was even a question.

Char and Sean blowing out the candles. That's a lot of candles Char! Shortly thereafter the mountain caught on fire.

I don't think there was any relationship between the candles on Char's cake and the fire on the mountain but they were both impressive.

AJ and Steph went out to check out the fire. Step said it looked like one of the volcano's in Costa Rica. Fortunately by morning they had the fire out and no homes were burned. It was only three blocks away from our old house on Chase lane. Scary stuff.

Bonneville Salt Flats

  Shadows in the Salt.

Don's next new hobby is racing. He wants to take his new/old car out to the Salt Flats and get it up to 130 mph. We spent the night in Wendover last night and went to the races first thing in the morning. We stayed at Peppermill Casino hotel because weeknights are cheap and they have a buffet. Casino's aren't exactly overflowing with children. I think we had the only child in the hotel. I felt like we were in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang walking the streets with a child in a land where children are banned. At the buffet we got Sean's food first and I was sitting at the table with him while Don went to get his. Sean wanted to eat but then remembered he hadn't said "the blessing". I said "go ahead and say it." He said "no, we have to wait for daddy." He then bellows to Don over at the carving station, "we have to pray." Don came back and sat down. Sean bowed his head and in his loud voice said "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for this food. AMEN." It was cuteness amongst the gamblers at the buffet. We went across the street to the park and then went to bed early so we could get up early.

We made a little camp under someones shade. The salt is cold and wet.  Next time I am bringing chairs, shade, plastic to put under a blanket and a cooler. (and Sean's bike so he can ride it)

The first thing we did was taste the salt. Guess what, it taste like salt!

When Sean first saw the flats he asked "is that snow?" I said "nope, it's salt." That of course started a series of why questions. Here's a salt ball.

We walked up the rows of cars in line to race. All the drivers were so friendly and offered to let Sean sit in their cars and get his picture taken. They all told us how fast their cars raced. That red car went over 290 mph. There was a cool yellow vehicle made out of the fuselage of a rocket. It was kind of like middle aged men gone crazy with their soap box derbies. There were people there from all over the country. We met a driver named Shawn and his wife. They were from Arkansas and their car went 150 mph. It was a Mustang.

It's really hard to show how vast these flats are. They go for as far as you can see.

Motorcycles raced too. Again, they let us take pictures on their bikes. Everyone was so friendly. People aren't racing against each other they are racing against their own times so there isn't really even competition.

A salt pedicure. To say there was salt everywhere would be an understatement. The cars had salt underneath that looked just like snow needing to be kicked off. The salt was cold even in the hot sun.

We ate at a hot dog stand called Enola Gay. The chili hot dog was delicious.

Just another shot trying to show how huge this place was. Today's races were called "the world of speed." It's kind of like a huge parking lot. You get off the road and pay to get in. Then they tell you to follow the orange cones and you just drive until you see the cars. There's a couple of tents and that is the starting line.

After watching the cars take off we drove aways to a new bunch of cars, got out and walked to "the pit." That's where the food was and where people worked on their cars. At about 11:30 Sean was getting tired and wanted to go home. He was asleep before we got off the flats. It was a fun adventure.

Utah State Fair

A plethora of Fair pictures. Don's mom always says Sean makes us have fun and she's right. Don was home from work early because he had to go to the dentist for a crown. Sean was at school. I said "let's pick up Sean and go to the fair." Don said, OK. We decided to stop at the house and pick up a stroller. As soon as we pulled in the yard Ethan came running over. Don said "should we?" I said "sure, why not." Sean had three times as much fun with Ethan. We get asked all the time if they are twins. I say "twin neighbors." They are the best kind when I get tired I say "Ethan go home" actually I yell "ETHAN GO HOME!"

Our first adventure was a pony ride.  Neither Ethan or Sean had ridden a pony before.

Sean thought the pony ride was awesome. He kept saying "are they real? What makes them go?" I think he was talking about the round machine in the middle but it was cute.

They pet a baby bull that was born in May.

I don't know what this was about. They pulled their shirts over their heads and started to run.

They went down the super huge slippy slide with Don, twice.

They milked a pretend cow.

They rode tractors around the hay.

They posed in the future farmers of America display.

They were the only ones on a train ride. We went on the first day of the fair, in the afternoon and it was not crowded. It was really nice. I don't remember the last time I went to the fair. I think the kids were little and we went on a Saturday and it was crazy.

On the Ferris wheel.

High in the sky on the Ferris wheel. We could see the clouds and the mountains. There was no one else in line and we were the only ones on so they let us go around lots of times.

Sean asked "are those geese nice?" Nope, they weren't. Pretty much all geese are irritable and if you dress them up stupid it makes them even more so.

It's not a fair until you eat something deep fried. We ate french fries, corn dogs and fried zucchini. We passed on the other fried delicacies.

Darci

It's been a year since Don's youngest sister Darci died. Just the other evening at dinner we were talking about how Sean's school is teaching him "the big bang theory". I said good grief next they'll be teaching him evolution and we all started to laugh. Alika said Darci taught evolution but called it something else so she could get away with it. We sat around trying to remember what she called it but couldn't. It was a fun memory though. Darci had a love for science and little tolerance for myth's, legend, fables and falsehoods. (That's Don's quote) It's hard to watch (through Facebook because they are so far away) Darci's kids grow up without her but the love she gave them will last forever. I also have to comment that Darci always wore a bikini and looked good in it, something I was in awe of.

Today's hearing

I decided my nerves couldn't take waiting at home for "the call" so I went to Walmart to do some coupon/price matching shopping. I had just finished my purchase which required a manager over ride that means I saved over 50% on my grocery bill, woo hoo and my phone rang. Now with that sort of timing it's got to be good news.

The state presented all their evidence and called for termination of parental rights. They had a lot of evidence. Jenny and Ryan's attorney's went crazy and said everyone was lying and asked for an evidence hearing. (I thought that's what they did.) Jenny and Ryan's attorney want a hearing where they can have every therapist, case worker etc subpoenaed. That hearing is now scheduled for September 30. They told Ryan he is not allowed any more visits. Before Lanette even told me this Jenny called and asked if I would watch the girls this weekend. She said Ryan is going to watch them in the morning and then I am supposed to pick them up from him. I tell you, she just doesn't quit breaking the rules. She called me before the hearing hyperventilating saying she didn't know what she was going to do if she lost the girls and that she and Ryan talk but they are not "together." I feel such a relief right now at least until we get closer to the 30th. The girls have been in state custody for 16 months. Lanette talked to Jenny afterwards and told her if she adopted the girls she would still let Jenny be a part of their lives. That was very nice of Lanette. Yesterday when I was freaking out Lanette said something so true. She said "It's not just about saving Kylie and Brie it's about saving their children." I thought how true. This is about stopping the cycle of abuse, poverty, alcoholism and lack of education. It's about future generations.

Anxiety

I have serious anxiety today. Heart palpitation's! Tomorrow is the hearing where the judge terminates rights or sends the girls home permanently (or until the next time they get taken). I have felt like it was all going to be OK but now that it's down to the end I don't know. Lanette is anxious too. She says her heart says it's going to be OK but her brain doesn't know. My heart hopes it's going to be OK. Lanette tried to call Clarice today and they are "staffing" the case today for court tomorrow. TODAY for TOMORROW! They've had 16 months to figure out their plan and they are meeting today. I can't change any of it. I've done everything I can do now all I can do is wait and say a prayer.

End of summer

We went to Park City today. We had a renter move out of our Park City condo and another renter move in. We had to rent three properties in the last couple of weeks. It's a good rental market for landlords right now and everything rented back to back so we were pleased. This is our third renter that works at the hotels in The Canyons. We've found it's a great group of people to rent to. Professionals who stay put a year and then move on to their next hotel or restaurant.  We went swimming at the condo while we were there. It was much cooler in Park City. It was the last day the pool was open.

We went to lunch at The Eating Place. It's not a new place we go there almost every time we go to Park City because I like their bread. They do have a new outside eating area this year that was fun. A bunch of the restaurants have these new patio things that go out in the street where cars used to park.

Don and Sean posing on Main Street in Park City. It was crowded there today. There was a labor day festival going on.

Hanging out

We went to Boondocks yesterday. AJ, Steph and Carter came too. AJ and Steph were trying to set a record for the most consecutive bowling games. They were on 8 when Don, Sean and I left.

Sean drove the boat and squirted people. He got really mad if people squirted him back so we just went to the end of the pool and squirted at Don who was standing on the side of pool.

Winking with sunglasses.



Me and Sean on the race car track. We did that a couple of times it was fun. We left Don in our dust. Well, not really but we did pass him a couple of times. AJ and Steph left us in their dust.



This was a funny kind of bowling where the pins are on ropes and you roll little balls. Sean really got into it.

In addition to all the fun stuff and arcade games we played a round of putt putt.