What is she on?

I went to see my family doctor today about my anxiety. (This is the same doctor that got subpoenaed along with me in regard to the girls.) I’ve been off of Lexapro for three years but have decided it’s time to go back on because my anxiety is really getting the best of me. I am having trouble sleeping and am worrying compulsively. I’ve always been a worrier it’s a family gene but it’s out of control.


The point of sharing my personal pharmacologic needs is to point out an irony.

Sean saw his dad today for the first time in 3 months. This caused me a lot of anxiety. I haven’t seen Ryan since April. We agreed last night that he would see Sean today. Last night Ryan texted that he had to work today and couldn’t see him in the morning because he didn’t get off until four. That didn’t make sense since he was seeing the girls downtown at 10. I told him I could meet him at the McDonalds near the DCFS building at 9 or he could meet me at Kangaroo Zoo in the evening. At 8 this morning he texted and asked if I would bring Sean to his house. No, I will meet you at the McDonalds by DCFS. He texted me back and said he didn’t have any money because he just paid his rent. I told him Sean didn’t care if he had any money. In the end we met at the McDonalds over by the SLCC building and he and Sean had fun playing out front. Sean was confused at first but then became a chatter box. When I went over to DCFS with Ryan to meet Jenny we briefly saw the girls. They look GREAT. Sean and Brie got a little tearful because they wanted to play and couldn’t. I was worried about letting Sean see them when I knew it would just be in passing but last night Sean was sad and said “Brie is lost on an airplane.” I think it was good for him to see that Brie still IS even if he doesn’t get to play with her. He got over it pretty fast when we went to the Aviary and he got to ride the rides.


To the irony… Jenny is unemployed (though she tells me she has a job), couch surfing, she’s lost her kids, is facing sentencing and under investigation for fraud and she is sitting across from me just as calm as ever. I asked her “are you feeling depressed or anxious” and she said “no, not really. Sometimes but not most of the time.” What the crap? I am having major anxiety and feeling like I’m not coping and she is sitting there looking like she doesn’t have a care in the world. How can that be? I know she lies to me all the time but I honestly believe her when she says she’s not depressed. How is that even possible? What is she on?